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Boring: October Surprise is the Same Dull Conspiracy Theories We’ve Been Hearing for 9 Years

It’s curtains for Trump! It’s the beginning of the end! The walls are closing in! Democrats have been trying to titillate their voters with an upcoming October surprise that was going to be a doozy.

The surprise would be the end of the accursed Donald Trump’s political career. We ended up getting not just one, but two career-ending October surprises about Trump this week.

Do you know what they were? BOOOOORING! It’s the same old tired nonsense that we’ve been hearing for the past nine years.

Say it with me: Trump is secretly Hitler’s clone and some woman just remembered 12 days before the election that he groped her more than 30 years ago.

Is that really all you guys have on Trump after all these years? Next week they’ll probably tell us that he’s colluding with Russia to steal the election. You heard it here first folks!

 

For the first October surprise, Kamala Harris held an emergency press conference from the official residence of the Vice President this week. It wasn’t a real press conference. She delivered a speech and didn’t take any questions from the press. She immediately ran away after the speech because her staff knows she’s an idiot and can’t handle off-the-cuff questions.

The gist of the speech was this. Donald Trump is literally HITLER and he is a fascist and he will use the military to go after Americans if he is elected.

*Yawn.*

That was their big October surprise? Rep. Cory Mills (R-FL) immediately made a criminal referral to the Department of Justice. The vice president is not supposed to be doing partisan campaign BS like this while presenting it as official US government business. She even had the official Seal of the Vice President there for the speech. Not that Attorney General Merrick Garland will do anything about it.

Then, the Guardian unleashed another October surprise. They found some crazy broad who claims that Donald Trump groped her back in 1993. She didn’t remember this incident when Trump ran for president in the 2016 election. She didn’t remember it during the four years when he was President of the United States. She didn’t even remember it when the Biden regime was charging Trump with 93 fake felonies.

But ALL OF A SUDDEN, this woman remembers just 12 days before the 2024 election that Trump groped her 31 years ago. Her name is Stacey Williams and the years have not been kind to her.

Here’s what she told the Guardian, which is a British basket of used toilet paper masquerading as a “newspaper.”

“Late winter of 1993, I was on a walk with Jeffrey [Epstein] from his brownstone on the Upper East Side down Fifth Avenue, when Jeffrey looked at me and said, ‘You know, let’s go stop by and see Trump.’”

Because Donald Trump was never busy in 1993. People could just walk into Trump Tower for a private visit with him and eat up 30 minutes of his time because he was so lonely and not doing anything anyway. Stop by any time!

Her totally credible story in the Guardian continued:

“Moments after they arrived, she alleges, Trump greeted Williams, pulled her toward him and started groping her. She said he put his hands ‘all over my breasts’ as well as her waist and her buttocks. She said she froze because she was ‘deeply confused’ about what was happening. At the same time, she said she believed she saw the two men smiling at each other.”

Oh, no! I already cast my vote early for that RAPIST! Maybe I can get my ballot back and switch my vote to Kamala Harris because of this totally believable story that this woman just remembered 12 days before the election!

Fortunately, we now have a free speech platform on the internet so it only takes about 11 seconds to debunk these stupid Trump hoaxes.

Looks like she got some details in her fake story wrong. They’re always trying to tie Donald Trump to Jeffrey Epstein because he took a photo with the guy once or twice.

Reminder: Trump kicked Jeffrey Epstein out of one of his golf courses and banned Epstein for life when he caught him hitting on a 14-year-old. Jeffrey Epstein did not yet own the so-called Lolita Express private jet at the time when Democrats always falsely claim that he gave Trump a ride. And this crazy broad’s story doesn’t add up because Jeffrey Epstein didn’t own his brownstone in Manhattan at the time when she says her fake story happened.

Wake us up if a real October surprise arrives.


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