The Democrat Party is reeling after losing another massive battle in the DOGE War of 2025. A crack team of 16 of Elon Musk’s biggest nerds stormed into the Department of Education and within minutes had saved the taxpayers another $1 billion.
One Democrat Congresswoman said the employees in the building were in a state of terror as the nerds rampaged through their expenses, canceling DEI contracts and grants all willy-nilly.
Who would have thought that the most riveting news stories during President Trump’s first year back would be about people putting accounting software to work?
We don’t have an exact figure yet but by many estimates, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has already saved the American taxpayers more than $1 trillion. That’s bigger than the economies of 173 individual countries.
According to Rep. Melanie Stansbury (D-NM), Musk’s team of computer nerds who are all under the age of 23 was rampaging through the Department of Education on Tuesday.
“They are in the building, on the 6th floor, canceling grants and contracts,” Stansbury gasped to a reporter from the Daily Mail.
“It’s not legal. They know it’s not legal. But they’re doing it anyway.”
LOL!
Just a few minutes after they made it up to the 6th floor, Elon’s Delta Nerd Force commandos had canceled 89 Department of Education contracts worth $881 million. A few minutes after that, they had trimmed another $101 million in DEI training grants to schools. They cut $981 million in a matter of minutes.
Congress could have done that at any time over the past 30 years, but they didn’t do it because they hate the American people almost as much as the soon-to-be-fired Department of Education employees. The DoE began as an agency in 1979 and starting in 1980, President Ronald Reagan vowed to shut it down. Abolishing the useless federal DoE has been in the Republican Party Platform for 45 years, but nearly every Republican in Congress and every Republican president was too cowardly to do it until now.
Here’s a fun bit of trivia for anyone who doesn’t know it already. For every $1 that the Department of Education sends to your local public schools and colleges, it spends $5 in administrative costs in that building where Elon’s pocket-protector brigade is now striking “terror” into the employee’s hearts. It NEEDS to be shut down. Trump plans to return all that money back to the states. It’s about time.
America’s greatest president ever signed another executive order on Tuesday instructing the DOGE nerds to wipe out entire federal agencies whenever possible. Any personnel with jobs in national security, law enforcement, and immigration enforcement are exempt. Other than that, the order instructs federal agencies to only hire one person to replace every four who get the axe.
That would shrink the size of the federal workforce from 2,400,000 to roughly 600,000. Only people with “essential” federal jobs will be left by the time the DOGE War is over.
Go nerds!
The Democrats huffed and puffed for the past ten years claiming that President Trump was Literally Hitler and he was going to throw them all in concentration camps. Oh, you precious little children!
Trump’s not locking you in a camp. He’s going to DESTROY you with the wholesome, cleansing, disinfecting light of sunshine on your dirty deeds. There are even hints that DOGE is going to be looking into the finances of some of the wealthiest Members of Congress at some point soon.
Senator Pocahontas, for example, somehow—
Oh, sorry. Senator “Elizabeth Warren,” for example, somehow has a net worth of $67 million despite only having a government salary worth $174,000 a year. Chuck Schumer has $75 million in the bank and Mitch McConnell has $95 million. Nancy Pelosi’s net worth is $202 million.
As Elon Musk asked on Tuesday, “It’s not like these politicians started companies or were NBA All-Stars, so where did they get all the money?”
Indeed.
Perhaps the nerd army should have another Red Bull and pull an all-nighter looking into the finances of the crooks in Congress. As for the rest of the unconstitutional federal agencies that have been looting the taxpayers of every nickel for decades, you should be afraid, too. Be very afraid. The nerds are coming for you next, and they have the full backing of the American people.
