Liberation Day for America is today, April 2. That’s the day when President Trump imposes reciprocal tariffs on all the other nations that are ripping Americans off and abusing our taxpayer money to prop up their economies.
Finally! A fair playing field for American businesses!
Canada is not taking the news very well. In their efforts to crush our economy and stop the Bad Orange Man, they’ve announced a list of thousands of American products that they’re going to hit with retaliatory tariffs. The list is absolutely hilarious and it proves that Canada is doomed to lose its “trade war” with the Trump administration.
If you want your tariffs to have an impact on another nation, they have to be on real products. That’s the beauty of Trump’s retaliatory tariffs. Under the principles of “free trade,” other countries are allowed to sell their products to Americans with no tariffs assessed. In return, they impose crippling tariffs on Made in America products to protect their own industries. This hurts American businesses while propping up the economies of our so-called “trade partners.”
The result is that Americans have fewer business opportunities and fewer jobs as production flows overseas to other countries.
Trump’s reciprocal tariffs are on real products that we import from Canada. The Canadians charge tariffs as high as 600% on American beef, poultry, pork, and other products, as just one example. We’re imposing reciprocal tariffs on all those products, starting on Liberation Day.
The Canadian government wants to make it look like they’re fighting back. The reality, however, is that their economy is far more dependent on us than we are on them. They just don’t have very many real products that they can hit with tariffs. But they’ve released a hilarious list of things that they’re going to now slap with major tariffs. Let’s take a look!
Manatee Meat. Manatees, of course, are endangered and protected marine mammals. You can’t buy manatee meat anywhere that we could find online. There’s a tongue-in-cheek marketing agency that raises money to help cancer patients in Florida called the Manatee Meat Company. Another company in Florida is called “Manatee Farms,” but they’re a greenhouse/plant nursery. This tariff is completely fake!
Camels and Monkeys. Canada is imposing stiff “retaliatory” tariffs on live camels and monkeys, and on any camel meat or monkey meat imported from the US. Oh no! Our economy is doomed!
Dog Coats. We’re not sure whether this is a tariff on fur coats made from dogs, or if it’s on those embarrassing little outfits that elderly women put on their pets. Either way, we can’t imagine that there’s a huge market for American-made dog coats in Canada.
Flamethrowers, Rocket Launchers, and Grenade Launchers. Take that, American flamethrower manufacturers! None of these things are even legal in Canada. They’re such anti-gun wimps that they’d probably put you in jail if you used your fingers to shoot a rubber band at a co-worker.
Cruise Ships. There are only two companies in the world that build cruise ships. One is in Italy and the other is in Germany. We don’t even make those!
Explosive Bird-Scaring Devices. We don’t even know what those are. Do they use those to scare birds away from airport runways or something?
Passenger Drones. These aren’t even a real thing.
Fake Beards, Eyebrows, Eyelashes, and Wigs. Uh… okay.
Fitted Cases for Church Bells. Canada banned Christianity and arrested pastors and priests during COVID. We’re pretty sure there’s zero market whatsoever in their country for church bells or their fitted cases.
This is why all the media hyperventilation about a “trade war” that’s going to “cause inflation” in America is just silly and false. President Trump is imposing reciprocal tariffs on real products to create parity with Canadian producers. Canada is imposing tariffs on things that aren’t even real, like manatee meat and passenger drones. It’s all politics and theater.
The Canadians are going to be shocked when they’re hit with massive inflation in the next few weeks. Meanwhile, all of the nonexistent monkey meat producers here in America won’t be paying any of their nonexistent tariffs. Canada is going to buckle in a few weeks, while Americans won’t even notice their “retaliatory” tariffs on products that we don’t make or sell to them.
The end result of this, however, will be more prosperity and an even playing field for American companies, farms, ranches, and entrepreneurs. Oh, and our food prices are going to fall in a few months after Canada surrenders and drops its insane tariffs on American-grown produce.