If he weren’t such an unlikable dork, you’d almost have to feel sorry for the way this past week has gone for California Governor Gavin Newsom. He desperately wants to be the next President of the United States. He’s running into a few snags along the way, however. A big one is that no one likes him. Newsom has also been embroiled in multiple hilarious scandals this week that show how much of a contemptible fraud he really is. It’s almost too much to keep up with!
First, Governor HairGel needs to display some foreign policy chops to prove to the voters that he’ll be different from President Trump. The White House made it a point to send no dignitaries to the UN’s COP30 summit in Brazil this week, which purports to fight the fake problem of global warming.
Trump didn’t go to COP30, but by golly, Gavin Newsom did!
(Do you think anyone at the summit mentioned that zero hurricanes made landfall in the US this year? Probably not, huh?)
While he was in Brazil, Gavin signed a pollution agreement between the state of California and… Nigeria.
This is the same Nigeria that the Trump administration is threatening with drone strikes right now if it doesn’t stop committing genocide against innocent Christians and burning their churches down. We’re guessing that Gavin didn’t mention that little problem. That definitely shows a bit of a… contrast… in the foreign policy styles of Gavin Newsom and President Trump.
In other news, a Nigerian email prince will be supporting Newsom 2028!
And while Newsom was out of town pretending to be a foreign policy genius, his Chief of Staff was arrested by the FBI on public corruption charges!
Dana Williamson was Gavin Newsom’s most trusted advisor, right up until December 2024 when she took a job somewhere else. According to the FBI, Williamson and two co-conspirators looted hundreds of thousands of dollars from California Attorney General Xavier Becerra’s dormant campaign account.
The money that Williamson spent on herself makes Congressman Eric Swalwell’s (D-CA) $10,000-a-month in donor funds spent on limousine fees look like chicken feed.
The FBI says that Newsom’s Chief of Staff and the others paid themselves “consulting” fees from the dormant campaign funds and spent the money on themselves.
Gavin Newsom’s right-hand woman allegedly spent $19,000 to install a new HVAC system in her house. She spent $15,353 to buy herself a Chanel handbag. The FBI also says she gave $10,000 in cash to a relative from the funds and spent another $21,175 on private jet travel.
Williamson and her co-conspirators have been charged with 23 felonies. They now face 360 years in prison. And we can’t stop laughing about it!
That’s okay, Gavin. We would expect nothing less from the Chief of Staff for a guy who opened the French Laundry restaurant during the COVID lockdowns so he could have a plate of $1,000 macaroni and cheese with imported French truffles.
Great job on your staffing picks, Gavin!
Oh, but wait—there’s more!
After an illegal alien truck driver obliterated three American families on a California freeway last month, Newsom insisted that his administration was not giving out commercial driver’s licenses (CDLs) to illegals. This week, the California DMV admitted to the US Department of Transportation that… actually… they’ve been handing out CDLs like candy to illegals who can’t even read road signs.
The Newsom administration has given out 17,000 licenses to illegal aliens who don’t even speak English, so that they can drive big rigs on the freeway and take good-paying jobs away from Americans. There’s been a rash of these accidents killing Americans this year, and it all traces back to Gavin Newsom and other blue state governors.
Fortunately, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is revoking all 17,000 of those CDLs and making our roads safer. And if Newsom tries to weasel out of it, the federal DOT will cut hundreds of millions of dollars from California’s transportation funds.
Amazingly, one poll that came out this week, in the midst of all these scandals, showed that Gavin Newsom now has a slight lead over Kamala Harris for the Democrats’ 2028 presidential nomination. That is scary.
But we’re going to keep reminding everyone that Gavin Newsom is so smarmy and unlikable that he had to pay for his own statue at the San Francisco City Hall with an “anonymous” donation. You’ve been warned, America. Do NOT vote for this guy!