Senator Rand Paul released his annual “Festivus” report Tuesday.
The total alleged government waste in 2025: $1,639,135,969,608.
That’s $1.6 trillion. With a “T.”
And the individual examples? They read like satire. But they’re real.
“No matter how much taxpayer money Washington burns through, politicians can’t help but demand more,” Paul said.
Happy Festivus. Time for the airing of grievances.
The VA Spent Over $1 Million Teaching Teenage Ferrets to Binge Drink
Yes, you read that correctly.
The Department of Veterans Affairs spent $1,079,360 this year on a study teaching teenage ferrets to binge drink alcohol.
Not treating veterans’ PTSD. Not reducing veteran suicide. Not improving VA hospital wait times.
Teaching ferrets to drink.
Your tax dollars. Over a million of them. On alcoholic ferrets.
HHS Spent $1.5 Million on Celebrity Influencers to Reduce Drug Use in “Latinx” Communities
The Department of Health and Human Services allocated $1.5 million for an “innovative multilevel strategy” to reduce drug use in “Latinx” communities.
The strategy? Celebrity influencer campaigns.
Not treatment programs. Not enforcement. Instagram posts.
Because apparently the opioid crisis will be solved by TikTok videos.
$40 Million Paid to Influencers to Promote COVID Vaccines
HHS also spent more than $40 million paying influencers to promote COVID-19 vaccination to “racial and ethnic minority groups.”
$40 million. On social media posts.
While Americans were losing their jobs for refusing the vaccine, the government was paying celebrities to tell them to get it.
The State Department Spent $244,252 on a Pakistani Children’s Cartoon About Climate Change
Your tax dollars funded a television cartoon series in Pakistan.
The subject: Teaching Pakistani children how to combat climate change.
The cost: $244,252.
American children can’t read at grade level. But we’re funding climate cartoons in Islamabad.
$1.5 Million to Promote American Entertainment Abroad
The State Department spent $1.5 million to promote American films, television shows, and video games in foreign countries.
Hollywood is the most profitable entertainment industry on earth. It doesn’t need government promotion.
But the State Department decided your money should advertise movies anyway.
$1.9 Million on a “Mobile Phone Family Intervention” for Childhood Obesity
HHS spent $1.9 million on a “hybrid mobile phone family intervention” aimed at reducing childhood obesity among Latino families in Los Angeles County.
Translation: A phone app.
They spent nearly $2 million developing a phone app to tell people to eat less and exercise more.
That information is available for free. On every phone. Already.
$497,200 on a “Video Game Challenge” for Kids
The National Science Foundation spent almost half a million dollars on a “Video Game Challenge” for children.
Not STEM education. Not scholarships. A video game challenge.
Because clearly what American children need is more screen time funded by taxpayers.
$14.6 Million to Make Monkeys Play “Price Is Right” Style Video Games
The NSF and other federal agencies spent $14,643,280 making monkeys play a video game in the style of “The Price Is Right.”
Fourteen million dollars. On monkeys. Playing game shows.
This is what your money does when no one is watching.
Last Year Was Just as Bad
Paul’s 2024 report featured similar absurdities:
A Las Vegas pickleball complex.
A cabaret show on ice.
The pattern is consistent. Year after year, the government finds new ways to waste money on things no sane person would fund.
$1.6 Trillion in One Year
Add it all up: $1,639,135,969,608.
That’s not the deficit. That’s not the debt. That’s just the waste — the money spent on things that serve no legitimate government purpose.
$1.6 trillion would fund border security for decades. It would eliminate taxes for millions of Americans. It would pay down debt that’s crushing future generations.
Instead, it went to ferret alcoholism and monkey game shows.
“Fiscal Responsibility May Not Be the Most Crowded Road”
Paul has been releasing these reports for years:
“Fiscal responsibility may not be the most crowded road, but it’s one I’ve walked year after year — and this holiday season will be no different.”
He’s been documenting waste while his colleagues in both parties ignored it.
Now, with the Trump administration actively cutting government spending, there’s finally hope that these reports will lead to action.
The Trump Administration Is Actually Doing Something About It
The report notes that Trump’s administration has been working to “uproot wasteful government spending and reduce the federal workforce.”
The results: The federal workforce is at its smallest level in more than a decade.
DOGE — the Department of Government Efficiency led by Elon Musk — is identifying and eliminating waste across agencies.
For the first time in years, someone is actually trying to stop the bleeding.
“Politicians Can’t Help But Demand More”
Paul’s observation cuts to the heart of Washington’s dysfunction:
“No matter how much taxpayer money Washington burns through, politicians can’t help but demand more.”
Every budget negotiation features demands for more spending. Every crisis becomes an excuse for new programs. Every agency requests increased funding.
The money flows out. It never stops. And no one asks whether teenage ferrets really need drinking lessons.
The “Airing of Grievances”
Festivus — the fictional holiday from “Seinfeld” — features an “airing of grievances.”
Paul’s report is exactly that. A documentation of everything wrong with how Washington spends money.
$1 million on ferret binge drinking.
$40 million on influencer vaccine posts.
$14.6 million on monkey game shows.
$244,252 on Pakistani climate cartoons.
These aren’t isolated incidents. They’re symptoms of a government that has no concept of fiscal responsibility.
$1.6 Trillion — And They Want More
Remember this number when politicians say they need more revenue.
Remember this number when they propose new taxes.
Remember this number when they claim the government is underfunded.
$1.6 trillion in waste. In one year. Documented by one senator willing to do the work.
The government doesn’t have a revenue problem. It has a spending problem.
And until that problem is fixed, every tax dollar is at risk of funding the next ferret drinking study.
Happy Festivus. Now let’s cut the waste.